In my college life, I think I was blessed with many good friends. I found my bestfriends, shared my dreams, cried and laughed with them. Some of them stay in my life long after we graduated. Again, I feel blessed. But there’s some funny things about friendship, as I grow older (and hopefully wiser) I learned that we must work for friendship.
Friendship is the most fun relationship someone can ever have with another human being. You started it with common likes and hobbies, no promises or commitment yet you can count on your friends to be there when you need it. You tell your friend secrets not even your mother knew, they keep it and they accept you just the way you are. You have fun and craziness with them. You never grew tired hang around with them, even silence means comfort when you have your bestfriend by your side.
Last year, I learned the meaning of friendship the hard way. I learned that friends are not the one you can only have fun with, they’re also the one who gave you shoulder when you need to hide your tears. Because of my 26 years of living, and spend most of it being social person as someone who tend to said yes and avoid conflicts, I never really had problems with my girl friends, no fights, nothing. But last year, my world was turning upside down. I lost friends, many of them that are close to me, who I consider my bestfriends, people I really care about.
Many things happened, somehow we had a lesson about being a grown up and to deal with problems. Works, friends, relationship, families. I think the moment you realized what is important in your life, you will have the urge to fight for it. And most importantly, have the courage to fix it, say you’re sorry and try to understand – kinda like imagine you’re in their shoes- I know I’ve been selfish, I know my friends have been selfish too, but like family, you just know that you love them and care for them. And at the end, you will have to put your ego aside, because you need them in your life.
Last week, I terribly missed my good friend, who’s away in Australia right now. Thing has been difficult for us, and I know I caused her sadness. And it just doesn’t feel right. Try your best doing a ‘well, I don’t care’ act, believe me, you’ll just put another lie to shield your selfishness. So I emailed her again, tried my best to make her understand. And she replied and I can see she did her best to understand me too. She was this girl I knew but she’s more. She grows up, more mature and I can see that somehow she learned from things life gave to her. I’m so proud of her. Really proud of her. We need more time. But patience is virtue.
Nuri, my good ol’ friend said, that maybe this was a test. How hard will you work for your relationship with your friends, how determined are you to fix things and how to put our ego and being brave. I proved it with Nuy and I dare myself again.I guess the old saying cliche about friends is true, boys come and go but friends stay forever.
I was mad at one of my friend who refused to fix things, because she was scared. Maybe I have to put myself in her shoes to understand her. Or maybe she failed the test. I hope someday she’ll have the courage to do it, but for now I think you will walk with person who matter to you and you know that you matter for them. Small things like wedding ceremonies, funerals, even a text saying good luck in your final exam day, or an email in a busy hectic day to lift up the spirit, or even cupcake you bought just because you know she craves for those thing, all of it need efforts. If you only want your friends for a drink, movies, concerts, gossips -in other way, only the fun part- you can find a lot.
But if you want friends to tell your darkest secrets, defend you even the whole world against you, mad at you because you did something wrong, hold your hand when you almost lost faith in everything, and tell it to your face ‘don’t worry, no matter how bad it will be, I’ll be here for you’ and really means it, the kind of friends you will see in your old days, someone who makes you into a better person and help you to find the best in you, I must say it’s not a lot. You’re lucky if you found one. Extremely lucky if you have some. Those kind of friends are rare because you both already passed a test, some tests probably, on how much a friendship means to each of you.
Nuy, you’re my living proof, I love you.