He bought it, and didn’t tell me!!!!

a while ago, I was stunned when my boyfriend bought this ugly boots for 400.000 rupiah and didn’t even bother to tell me first. I know it was his money, but still, am I invisible here??

and it’s not because the money, it’s because he bought it secretly from me. I felt insulted, as if I’m going to say NO if he ask my opinion. Well, maybe yes, but it’s because the boots was hideous, it’s purely fashion opinion. It happened months ago, and I didn’t mind much and pay much attention. Let the boy have fun.

But then I thought, will he gonna exclude me again? What if this time not only a 400 hundred boots, but a motorcycle or a robocop toy he once mentioned, will he buy it secretly again? If he did, why on earth he did it? I’m his girlfriend, not his mother. He can tell me anything. err.. right?

Like any other girl on planet, I discuss this with my bff. Turns out it happened with her and her boyfriend and it ended in a fight. (well, they make up off course). We get a good laugh, and thought how silly it was  fighting over money with our boyfriends.

but then I thought.. was it silly?

Marriage ended and the money factor alwasy brought up in the divorce process. Husband hide his money from his wife, and wife have a secret account that the husband didn’t know of. It didn’t sound silly anymore and I don’t want that on my marriage.

So, after a movie at blitz (it’s a buy one get one night from Niaga debet card), I ask my boyfriend, why he bought the boots secretly? was I the scary bitch that control his financial life? or was he scared that I’m going to say ‘did you really need those boots?’.

He explained it to me, that if he told me before he bought the boots, I might say something that can make he changed his mind.

“like what?”

“like.. ‘did you really need to buy things that expensive?’ or.. ‘with that sum of money, you can buy better things than just a pair of shoes.’ or.. ‘ you had too much boots, do you really need to  buy this one?'”

when I opened my mouth to protest, I realised, I just might said those things. He then told me, when a man want something so bad, a litle unsupportive comment from their girlfriend can change their mind, after a negative comment from us, the woman, he then will feel guilty if he still bought it.

I laughed, “but if you really, really, really like this boots, why bother??” I don’t even listen to my head doing rational calculation when my heart really really really want to buy that Charles and Keith pumps.

“because I care about you, and I want you to be okay if I bought something I really like.”

“got it. but promise, no more secret. I promise I won’t say something… un-encouraging if you want to buy a 1.6 million robocop figurine, but you have to tell me first. Girls hate it when you don’t include us in something big.”

“got it.”

and just like that, I feel calm. another mistery of man I just solved tonight.

 the boots that make all the fuss

the boots that make all the fuss

and another things, nothing, I mean nothing, for them is too expensive to buy. whether it’s a 1.6 million RoboCop figurine, a 5.5 million bicycle frame, or a 8 million camera. It’s not because they so damn rich, it’s because boys will be boys.

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to spend or not to spend, that’s the question..

I recently just quit the steady job I had, cause I start to drop the ball I’m juggling. FYI, I’m on my last semester for my thesis, it’s very nerve-wracking. After a presentation for my professors, I cried and cried to my boyfriend, whailing, “I can’t do thiiiiiiissss…”

well, so I quit my job at Ralston, which is a shame, because I had so many great friends there, plus unlimited internet access and a notebook and this perfect gripped mouse (crazy, but maybe this mouse it’s the best mouse ever..it’s microsoft by the way).

I do not feel worry too much, because I thought I don’t like the job very much and I still had money that I saved these past year. I can do my thesis in peace, also I had these Notes project I’ve been working on with my friends. But then, it struck me, I HAVE TO make sacrifices..

Maybe I can not spend so much on BodyShop products. (ahem, my body butter, my pore perfection gel, my ginger shampoo, my seaweed face cleanser..) or spend too much on leisure ( movies at blitz plus caramel popcorn, new books, eating at zenbu or getting the best toast ever on ya kun kaya toast..) or make ups..( kose day cream, kose cleansing oil and kose vitamin c water..) or stuff I planned to buy (levi’s jeans, fossil wallet…) as my thought wander, the list getting longer and I felt the sweat on my forehead..

But I told myself, over and over, do not make money control you. Get a grip, woman! I can still buy those things, maybe not all, but that’s the risk for the choice I make. I can still work at Ralston, had a good time with my friend while I can do my thesis later at night and my notes project in the time between. well, I did tried. Ouch, it hurts when it failed. Not only I did not do great on my thesis, but I’m getting lazier at the office and the Notes project not going much further. At the end, I fall sick for almost two weeks. Darn.

I believe so sincere in my heart, that when you do something you love, you do it whatever the risk. well, I put my faith on action. I know I’m getting there and the bodyshops can wait.