When We’re Not Together #2

Have you ever had that paranoia feeling when you are apart from your partner?

1. He’s definitely changing

2. He doesn’t text me back, and if he does, it’s just an ‘okay’.

3. He seems distant.

4. He’s happy! Oh my God, he’s happy when we’re not together!

5. See? He diverted his eyes when I asked him questions! He’s hiding something!!

and ..

6. Oh my God, we’re not good together! We’re breaking up!!!

Well, based on my experience, all of those are just women impulses when they’re having a really bad day. So instead of read and re-read his texts (try to decipher codes that might be hidden there), try this:

1. Play trivia games. I tried purposegames.com they have lots of trivia on Geography. I’m obsessed of getting all the dots green (correct without help), I spent almost 3 hours on this web and completely forgot that I had to meet my boyfriend.

trivia

Obsessed!

2. The reason why I start this game, Oceans and Seas of the world, was because this book I’m reading. So yes, please ladies, read. It’s a good exercise. Before this, I read a biography of the Prophet Muhammad by Karen Armstrong and realized that reading non-fiction is as interesting as fiction. 🙂

Atlantic by Simon Winchester

3. Catch up with friends. I met my good friends Aisha and Rita. Aisha lives in France with her husband and she has just finished her master degree in oil engineering, and also the same for Rita, she just finished her master as well, in business and management. I am a one proud friend. Because I also have just finished my celta, so our brunch (who extended to after lunch) was some sort of celebration. Hooray.

brunch

non-judging breakfast club

4. Evaluate your plan. This is the perfect timing, new year and new plan. I was bbm-ing my boyfriend and told him on and on of how a bookstore supposed to be, how sad books that are available in our town bookstores, and he said casually, ‘well, make your own then.’ and an image of Meg Ryan in her little bookstore in ‘You’ve Got Mail’ flashing back. So yep, I’m starting my bookstore! I’ve been calling publishers and distributors and have a vision of how the bookstore gonna help the community. Reading is actually one of the fastest way to learn a language. 😀

Little bookstore of my dream

5. Browse more, learn more. I’ve come to some really great sites like brainpicking.org and exp.lore.com, I also love swiss-miss.com these sites are good for daily browse, they always have interesting stuff. Things I read on brainpicking last night was suited my situation. The science of love, a study by Barbara Frederickson, PH. D, she studies how physically connected is important in love.

You no doubt try to ‘stay connected’ when physical distance keeps you and your loved ones apart. You use the phone, e-mail, and increasingly texts or Facebook, and it’s important to do so. Yet your body, sculpted by the forces of natural selection over millennia, was not designed for the abstractions of long-distance love, the XOXs and LOLs. Your body hungers for more.

True connection is one of love’s bedrock prerequisites, a prime reason that love is not unconditional, but instead requires a particular stance. Neither abstract nor mediated, true connection is physical and unfolds in real time. It requires sensory and temporal copresence of bodies .

Physical presence is key to love, to positivity resonance.

Just makes me want to hug my stupid boyfriend very tight.

I think when we’re together too often, the resonance won’t always be positive. My friend, Ruddy, who just got back from a 3 weeks vacation from London, visiting his girlfriend said it was the best 3 weeks in his life. They were emitting positive resonances because they’ve been missing each other for quite some time. Nothing stays positive forever. Having a person by your side 24/7 can be really stressing and has negative impact.

To touch your loved ones is important, to be physically connected. But having a time of your own is also good, because then you miss the connection. You appreciate it and when you’re having it, you don’t take it for granted.

So, being away from your loved ones I think, is healthy in a way. 🙂

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