What A Jerk

I have just finished reading Junot Diaz’s book: This Is How You Lose Her. In this compilation of short stories, Diaz told series of broken hearted men and how they lose the women in their life. What is so sad and ironic about the story is that they lose all the women because of their own foolishness and stupidity. They cheated on them and then hoped that they could get away with it (mostly, they didn’t), then they realized what a fool they’d been and wasted their life trying to get over it.

On a beach in the Dominican Republic, a doomed relationship flounders. In the heat of a hospital laundry room in New Jersey, a woman does her lover’s washing and thinks about his wife. In Boston, a man buys his love child, his only son, a first baseball bat and glove. At the heart of these stories is the irrepressible, irresistible Yunior, a young hardhead whose longing for love is equaled only by his recklessness–and by the extraordinary women he loves and loses: artistic Alma; the aging Miss Lora; Magdalena, who thinks all Dominican men are cheaters; and the love of his life, whose heartbreak ultimately becomes his own. In prose that is endlessly energetic, inventive, tender, and funny, the stories in This Is How You Lose Her lay bare the infinite longing and inevitable weakness of the human heart. They remind us that passion always triumphs over experience, and that “the half-life of love is forever.”

-from goodreads.com

Reading his book I became aware how selfish and pathetic sometimes men are, to the point I actually pity them. They cheated on their wives, fiances, mothers and then like a curse from women they’ve betrayed, their life became miserable. But what interesting is, how men look at their relationship. Nothing more than something that they should maintain, they know it’s important but they didn’t realized how important it is until it’s gone. The realization comes too late, and I think what shocked them more (than losing the women), is the fact that they’re unable to live without the relationship. Then they become a total idiot to put all the pieces back together, but of course – dramatic pause – it’s too late.

While I was reading the book, I couldn’t help it but thinking about my boyfriend. There he was, sitting in front of his Tamiya kit like a ten years old, resting his arm on my knee. Then out of nowhere I said, “men are jerks”. He looked at me, confused. Two things are running on his mind : a) shit, did I do something wrong? Did she say something and I missed it? well can’t she see that I was busy with my Tamiya? and b) Okay, now what?

When I explained it was about a book, he smiled and said, “we are jerks. that just something you, women, should realized it before you get involve with us.”

Wait. So when a guy cheated on his girl, that makes the girl’s fault? He said patiently, of course not, but nobody is perfect. By now, you should realized that. That’s just part of men. What? animal? He laughed, well, if you put it that way.

I tried to digest this. Well, it’s true, nothing is perfect. For us, women, we vision this perfect ideal relationship where men are something we can control. What a fool. Sometimes we can’t even control ourselves, let alone the species called men. I stroke my boyfriend’s hair, I couldn’t help but thinking I was stroking a half-tamed beast and pet him. He’s eyes were shining with enthusiasm toward his model kit, like a dog who has just given a new bone.

He later said, that’s not true, of course being in a relationship is important for us. While he said this, we were eating in our usual place and I just bought a bowl of mango dessert, kind of thick mango juice with animal-shaped jellies in it. He continued, It’s just sometimes you can be so annoying, like why do you have to be so dependent on me? Then, right after that, he spat a turtle-shaped jelly on to his palm and shouted, “look a turtle from my mouth!!”, then he ate the jelly turtle back again. This he repeated 3 times until his palm became sticky and I had to gave him baby wipes to clean it off.

I can’t believe I just had a conversation about relationship with my boyfriend. Useless. At the end of our dinner he found it hilarious that I could get so beat up just because of  a book. See? That’s the problem with girls, you take everything way too serious.

Coming from a grown up man who spits turtle-shaped jelly (and eats it again), I say no more.

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