feeling good

some people say, “ignorance is a bliss”, yes true, but it’s sort of temporary bliss. For quiet some time, I did that, I chose not to care and not to know, because I knew that the truth will somehow hurt me. But today I change my point of view of seeing a bliss. I say to myself that I have to be strong even if I knew what lies beneath, I don’t want a bliss that come from an ignorance.

Then it gets better, I breath easier and though my heart beats faster, I know I’ll be okay eventually. People appearance is like a sugar coat, we used that coat once in a while and when you use it too much, you maybe lose the real you. He wears too much she wears too much.. It’s fake and the sad thing is they think it’s pretty and fabulous.

One time, at an LV opening store party, I came along with him. We met beautiful people, polished people, we drink champagne and eat tiny cakes. We have waitress moving around with trays of snacks and there’s one waitress, he had this tiny ice cream on his tray, then by accident, he dropped one ice cream on the perfectly polished LV floor. His supervisor snapped at him and he rushed to clean the floor. That was happened only in minutes. But at that time, I hate myself. Sitting on a stool with champagne in one hand and tiny cheese cake on the other. I don’t want to be this girl and to be frankly, none of those things amused me. Not the glitz on the store walls, not the celebrities, not the champagnes, not the beautiful bags and the glasses. Not by him (who happened to be one of 15 guest models for the new sunglass collection) and not by her (who also happened to be one of the guest models).

the truth just make it even clearer and I’m pretty sure this one will make me stronger.

I promise myself to never lose who I really am. to be good and to be true.

Saying is easier than done, I stumble once in a while too. I lied and I used some sugarcoat.

But if I can turn back time, I will jump off my stool and help the poor waitress cleaning the floor instead just sitting there as if nothing worth seen happened. Then at the moment I feel uncomfortable I will immediately say to him goodbye and hop to a taxi, and find some good friend who’ll say yes to a simple cup of coffee.

I guess we must to learn these things. 🙂

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