When I was in high schools, I wear uniform. ( To have equality for each students due to differences in economy class, all schools from kindergarten to high schools in Indonesia have uniform in their regulation). Though I went to private schools who mostly the kids have rich parents and drives cars to school, we still wearing uniform. White blouse, grey skirt/trouser, white socks and black shoes. No hair coloring, no piercing except in the earlobe for girls.
I think it is important for teenagers to express themselves. Now, if the schools in Indonesia is so strict with rules, they should have an outlets for teenagers to let their ‘creativity’ go. But no, our school just say no to this, no to that. So we bent some rules, not something too extravagant, but little things like uniform.
The girls in my school is famous for their way over the knee skirts. The too tight white blouse. The knee high white socks. The colored hair. The attitude that sets every part time teachers crazy (well, not just the girls for the last one, but all of us did).
The rules said we have to wear a white camisole under our blouse, so the color of the bra would be invisible from outside. Oh, but those cute bras are just too cute to be hidden under a camisole, plus, it was too hot and humid to wear another layer inside our uniform.
I remember clearly, the girls in my class proudly show off what colors and model their bra today. I am too. I told this to my friends in college and she thought we were crazy. Maybe we were, but at that time, it’s normal for us. So I can see my friend bra through her sheer white blouse (and so the rest of the class) but so what? That’s how we wear it anyway.
We graduated, and then realized that those things we thought normal are only normal for us. My friends shrieked when she saw how short my skirt were in high school and I was like, ‘really? this is short? you haven’t seen my friends’ skirts’ (that was so short we could see her undies when she sits).
So years after I graduate from my spoiled crazy high school, I learned to dress appropriate. Though by appropriate I mean no bra revealing, because my college friends in art and design faculty dresses inappropriate in crazy cool way everyday.
I way past the bra things. (though I still wear the cute ones)
But now I’m in a situation which I feel I’m not normal. I don’t act right. People hate what I did because well, because they can.
I feel like I’m the only girl who wear the black bra under my white shirt while the rest of the class wear white bra under black shirt.
You know that kind of feeling, you feel.. kinda alone.
I don’t act by rules,
I did something so terrible,
I am bad.
So I got a choice. To mope all day, or wear those damn black bra and go to hell with everything.
I chose the second.