the game

I abandoned this blog for too long, I’m busy with twitter and tumblr. :p

anyway, for New Year I spent it with my friends in Lombok, which is great. Lombok, located in Nusa Tenggara Barat is one of the most beautiful beaches in Indonesia. We’re going snorkeling, my first experience (I’m super excited) and sunburn is a must. 😀

Morning at Malimbu Beach

click to my flickr page for Lombok gorgeous view

Thanks to Weslie and Anggi for this unforgettable trip. I had so so so so much fun! 😀

Back to Bandung (and Jakarta) I can’t help but feeling a little gloom. I mean, those 5 days were not only paradise, but also my escape from my school, my job, my well sorry to be corny, misserable love life.

I enjoyed bathing in the sun, sweating on the road of Gili Terawangan, soaked wet from salty water, feeding the fish underwater (ama-zziiiing), and woke up to a cottage with a beautiful view of Gili Terawangan Island. Oh and I also miss the laughter, and company of friends (thanks guys, you all are wonderful), and making no other plans than : where to eat, where to snorkel, where to take a walk, where to have fun.

I get so full of fun, it’s kinda hard to play the old game, again and again.

So, to get it straight : my job is a mess, my boss kinda lunatic, my school is a mess, I’m stuck with green architecture theory which is stressing, but that I can handle.

But what is bugging me, is that this so old game called relationship between boy and girl.

I’m not a drama person, I hate making things up just to add the sparkle, so I tend to sit and do nothing. People talk, I can’t help it and it’s none of my business what are they talking about. (yes, mostly I’m the bitch for dumped my perfect boyfriend).

So I just put a smile, and yes, do nothing about it.

I’m not complaining, I myself agree that what I did it’s purely a selfish act. And at times, I miss him so badly so much so painfully that I rushed to my phone just to send him a text. (Which stay on my draft and never get send) I know it will lead to another painfull things either for me or for him.

But at another time, I remember the beach, the sun, the sand, the sea and I feel, you know, it’s very liberating.

It’s the feeling a single girl could only feels.

Freedom. Unattached. Relax. Happy. And the feeling that you can do whatever you want, because you are old enough to decide anything you want and not old enough to have so much responsibilities.

This kind of freedom is, well, dangerous.

Partly because I’m not used to it. And before I realised it, I’m back to the game. But I’m not the player with the same cards as before, and you know, it’s fun.

But like everybody said, you need somebody to love

True.

I guess I did not deserve my old boyfriend, because he’s too nice, too perfect, too kind. While others think I’m looking for somebody new, the truth is no.

I like being single (at least for now)

*sorry about this emotion flood, I just listened to Can’t Help This Feeling by REO Speedwagon, and you know music is a powerful emotional tool. :p

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