thousand shades of gray

if you ask me right now,

what I want the most,

it’s not a hand to hold me,

or a kiss to soothe me,

or a hug to calm me,

or just a text saying i love you.

.

if you ask me, what i want right now

I want to be alone in crowded market,

I want to watch people from such heights they looked like ants.

I want to see the moon, so full it feels like a luminated saucer,

I want to travel, from city to city by train, next to a stranger, that reads poirot’s adventure

then we talk, about the detective and nothing serious but a casual mild talk,

I want to take picture of my breakfast crumble, a half bitten croissant and spilled coffee on the linoleum.

the morning sun falls right onto the black coffee mug, it looks like a good morning.

I want to hear john mayer singing about man with half of his heart to love, only his voice i hear,

while I try to grasp every idea, every lyrics, to connect it with my situation.

so later i can say, ‘hey this is my song, I heard it over and over when i was..’

I want to try my new heels, want to feel that all the problems in the world,

can be eased by the right shoes and the right purse.

I want to feel attracted, to a man with a good sense of humour and good sense of literature

so we will spend hours talking and laughing and debating and laughing some more,

I want to feel the wind, brushing my hair, while I see all the wild gease flying south,

I ordered a rainbow, seven colours, big, on the afternoon sky.

I want colours,

I want it in the water, the air, the sky, the television, the music, the books, in somebody’s eyes,

but all I get

is a thousand shades of gray.

picture taken on a plane, up in the september sky.

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