our own revolutionary road

I just watched Revolutionary Road, I know I’m late for the buzz. I already heard and read the review for the golden couple movie reunion, and I agree. This movie should get Kate an Oscar (well she did won for the Readers, but I hadn’t had the chance to see it), and I agree the story of Frank and April Wheeler are so real (by real I mean in the ‘hey I know that feeling’ kind of real).

The synopsis : Young couple, Frank (Leo DiCaprio) and April Wheeler (Kate Winslet), fall instantly in love with each other, April was learning to be an actress and Frank was a young boy that full of confident and so alive. When April got pregnant, they moving to a suburb in Connenticut, Frank is working as a salesman in a computer factory and April is a housewife taking care of their two children, and they go on living they perfect life for seven years.

But April is still dreaming for a bigger life, more exciting life, the kind of life she was dreamed she would have with Frank. So, on his 30th birthday, April proposed a plan for their family to move to Paris. She told Frank that she will getting a job as a government secretary, while Frank can figure out what he would like to do with his life. At first, Frank was reluctant with her idea, but she told Frank that this is not the life they was dreaming, not long, Frank is convinced. He was ready to quit his job, they told their friends and collague. All had their doubts about the couple crazy plan.

They already packed and have so much fun planning for their new life in Europe, when things are going wrong for them. First, when Frank told his boss he will be quitting next month, he offered Frank a promotion. Then, April got pregnant and when she told Frank she will have an abortion, Frank was so mad to her. And she mad to Frank because he is have a changing heart in their plan.

And at last, they cancelled Paris. April was so disapointed, but Frank see an escape from a failure in their Paris-plan. When Frank is in his comfort zone again, April was left trapped in her own life. She told her friend, it’s not about Paris, it’s just she want to get in. in a life she should had been have.

And I just can’t help feeling sorry for both of them. They both have so much passion for each other, for live, for future ahead them. And now when life gave them another plate, not the kind they ordered at the first time, they got dissapointed, sad and didn’t feel fulfilled by what they have got, not even their children or their job, or their money.

It will be so much understandable if they are in misery for their life, when they are poor, didn’t have a proper job, can not have children when they want to, or they just simply a boring dull uniterested couple. But they are not, they have a good job that pays good, a big white house, two healthy children, they are good looking and interesting couple.

so why can they be happy for it?

At some point , I can understand, why they felt dissapointed. It’s because they love each other, and depend to each other for live they dreamed, and when it doesn’t happen, they got each other to blame. And then of course, they would hate each other.

That reminds me of some conversation I had not long ago, I , the non-believers in love, was so dumb struck that two of my friends considered their soon to be husband as their soulmate, or their half soul, or .. you get the idea don’t you? It made me so annoyed that they believe in romance, that they believe their decision getting married was a destiny, an answer to some prayer, and that they willing to gave all their heart and soul to their man.

I’m not disagree or thought their decision to marry was wrong, it’s the reason that I can’t stand. They use religion as a reason and love at the same time. So I was curious, was love had something to do with marriage based on our religion? I had a long talk with my other friends, her acknowledge in Islam is far much more than me, she told me what her teacher told her.

If a man was looking for a wife, this is the categories he should consider : a good muslim woman (soleha), a nice looking woman, a good family background, her wealth, and of course a woman he likes.

Love was not mentioned there. So I was left with my own speculation. Islam told us to love Muhammad the prophet, our parents, our husband and wife, even our enemy. so why love was not in the categories in looking for a wife or husband? I came to my conclusion:

Because you can not believe in that kind of love.

because love, when added with lust, will always lie.

and because it’s an emotion that will blinded our faith, made us believe what we want to believe, or see what we want to see.

I’m not saying my friends was wrong. For all I know, I’m the one that could be wrong. Nobody can judge nobody in this kind of case. I’m just pointing my opinion in love.

It’s so funny, that the next day, when we had a conversation with our client, a 50-ish year old woman, a wise wife and a mother, she told us , based on her own experience, ‘you should not feel head over heels for your man, or exaggerate your expression in love, when you marry in an Islam way’

After I see this movie, I kinda understand her at some point. I would never understand the whole point, hence I’m not married to a man for a 20 years. But what she’s saying about marriage, kinda the same with my mom was saying about marriage, and my grandmother saying about her marriage, or my auntie saying about their marriage :

love is a bullshit.

(and yes they both married to the same man for 25 years long and more)

Revolutionary Road

can we survive it Jiw?

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