as hours go by, we still sit in this little booth, with chicken mayo burger and curly fries between us.
we talk so much, but what we didn’t talk about is, how each life leads to another direction. changing. evolving. different.
no, we didn’t talk much about it, but it lingers.
as I went home, driving alone with the radio playing another sappy song, I thought : what she did to me, was very hard to be understood.
but how come ? was the path I take is a different one with her since all along?
I did what I did not out of hatred, but out of love.
but loving someone who didn’t walking down the same road with us, was somehow a little bit hard.
not to say impossible.
day by day, I get tired to find reasons for her actions.
day by day, what I do, say or even think, is out of hatred, anger, sadness but mainly, disappointment.
and day by day, I hate myself even more.
SNAP it out.
a wise man say, just leave it as it is.
you can not control your own universe, let alone her’s
it just how things done in the big mystery of how God create and end things.
I nod my head, and exhaled a deep deep deep breath.
I know I can never reach fulfilness and happiness, if I didn’t let her go.
tomorrow, I will build my dream, in a pale violet room still have a vanilla scented from the wall paint.
we pay the electricty by our own money,traveling with our own expenses, drawing with all our heart in it.
and one by one, the memories of her is fade away.
another year, and we will be standing in the crowd of Las Ramblas, gondola-ride in Venice, bargaining in Grand Bazaar in Istanbul, taking polaroid on double deckers, pay ten euros for a night in Groningen, saying hello to a friend in Berlin, then get pampered in Swiss.
and not a sight of her
and we love her still.
if those days come, I think we excell in learning the art of letting go,
and loving still.