What if..?

what’s on my mind right now is.. what if we were wrong all this time?

what if love do can conquer all?

what if impulses act wisely than ratio?

what if we should jump than dip our feet?

what if the instinct that told us to kiss our significant other can not be interpreted as a sin?

it maybe sounds crazy, but I do learn a lot from tv series, especially SATC. There is this one episode, near the final, where Carrie wants to move to Paris (leave her friends, job, life in NY) to follow her lover, Aleks.  We can not find anything wrong with Aleks, although he’s older than Carrie, he cares about her, show her affection, speak his mind, and told her that he need her to be with him in Paris.

It was crazy if she said no. Does she love him? She doesn’t really know, all she know is, this perfect gentleman loves her. And wants to be with her.

But there’s something missing. All her friends, not so sure what Carrie did was right for her. Especially Miranda, she told to her face, bluntly, that she is making a mistake, a big one. Carrie, of course, was furious, she did not understand why her friends ask her so much technical question (what you gonna do for a living? where do you want to stay? how about your column?) and did not seem as excited as she’d imagine they would be. She told them why can’t they be happy for her, when that’s what she did for them all the time.

Right now, I’m in the same position as Miranda. But the thing is, I can not be sure, if my Carrie were making a mistake or finding her true love. And not like Miranda, I can not tell her to her face that she was wrong (well, she might be, but she might be not too..).  Miranda is the cynical one, while Carrie is always ready for the big romance.

Is she hunger for the romance? Or could be this one man, the man I hardly know, was her soulmate? Then it’s not a mistake right?

Miranda, in that final episode, told Big (Carrie on-off boyfriend) to rescue her in Paris. Apparently, Big realised how much she love Carrie and can not afford to lose her (again). And coincidently, Carrie did realised she made a mistake going to Paris. She miss her friend, her job, her life. She meant to be rescued and they meant to have a happily ever after.

But what if…

what if there is no Big to the rescue?

what if it’s not just as simple as staying in Paris?

what if Miranda didn’t say anything to Carrie that she made a huge mistake?

what if Carrie did find life in Paris is a dream come true. then she made a new friend, found a new job, married to Aleks.?

what if Carrie too late to realise she was wrong?

the what if question have so many answer, so many ending.

to my Carrie, I hope you find an ending that filled with love and happyness, as I can not be brave enough to be your Miranda.

and this me, the woman who underestimate love, saying it.

as for me, I truly thankful for my own Miranda, who will be brave enough to put a fight with me, if she know I was wrong. I really do thankful for you.


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