no, no, no I’m not abandoned this blog, it’s just that I’m kinda bored with stuff I wrote here. Too self indulgence. Too emo. Too personal.
While it’s fun, because we’re emo kid deep deep inside, I just want to write in different way.
so, please visit my other blog : http://pleaselistentothedog.blogspot.com/ it’s still me, but more un-emo and try to discuss other things than, well, relationshits.
oh and I write in bahasa a little bit. juuuust a little here and there. see ya!
this pic is taken at Zara when we went shopping. We already shared the same zodiac, ego and must it be stores too?
Anyway, this is right before the huge fight. I remember that night clearly because we had so much fun. movies, coffees,shopping, and tried every hat on the store. We had fun and we kissed a nice good bye kiss and the next day I wanted to gave him a really really good punch in the face. I think of not using my hand, but something heavy and blunt.
I was extremely, sorry, EXTREMELY mad at him that I deleted him from my bbm contact list. Yes. That showed how much I MAD AT YOU. I didn’t speak to him for 3 weeks and completely ignoring him. Well, knowing his ego, of course he’s not gonna call me first either. Both of you are stubborn, my friend said.
well, if you want to put this into game, let me get this straight, I’m not gonna surrender.
and…. I win.
he buzzed me first, and I screamed ‘YES!’ then he texted me, then he called me, then he met me.
I knew he missed me. and he knew I knew that. he also knew I missed him too. and he knew I know he knew.
then, before I knew it. We’re back again at Zara and trying another stupid hat. yeah, so much for a winner..
Don’t get me wrong, I do still want to punch him. I know that we’ll get into another fight. Maybe. So all I can do now is, nothing. I focused hard on my job and try to give him as little as possible space in my brain.
I realized, he may not be here tomorrow. But I think what he didn’t realized is, I may not too. But for now, let’s behave like a proper 26 years old and just eat the damn sushi.
oh, and I have another blog, is written in Bahasa. so fellow Indonesian, find me. 
there’s an interesting article I read in an December ELLE issue, it’s about how we sometimes feel the need to stop and have a me time to refresh and to take a big break, well the author said that instead of that, what we’re need is more work and maybe that suppose to be put inside our new year resolution list. I think it’s a good idea though, hard work, not the kind that turns you into workaholic, but at the right amount.
The author also said that working keeps mind of from things. If we do something routine and constantly we lost and forget about other things and it’s a good recipe for a broken heart instead of going away and have a breakup trip. Well, it works on me anyway.
My friend Yori said what I do right now, it’s kind of hard to understand. He said that people need big heart to do that kind of thing. If we give something to someone it’s only natural we hoping for something back. I do too. But what choices do I have? You will get another series of broken heart and disappointments, oh yes sir, I will.
But that’s the problem with heart I think, you don’t give it, it choose. I can try to keep it off my mind, and it works, at least I’m not sad anymore. I try to saw other guy, and it works, at least I know there are other chances. I don’t call, text,see him, and it works, at least I know I can handle days without his presence.
But you know sometimes those little fragile thing, that can vanish in seconds, that can change in an instant, that can be hit and breaks is some damn stubborn thing. Because it doesn’t need a presence, it doesn’t need any replacement, it doesn’t think logically. Maybe Mr.Gaiman put it right..
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” Neil Gaiman (The Kindly Ones)
Anyway, my friend Yori was worried I got into this delusional blinded by love thing. He was so concerned and I can’t helped but laughed. No I’m not. Why you’re so sure? Because.. I paused for a moment, because I hate myself when I’m with him, at least right now. He seems a bit puzzled so I try to explained it the best way I can. I like him and I like him for who he is, and I know who he is, the truths that hide behind those snob attitude, I even know him so well I know why he didn’t want me. I know the best sides of him and I saw the sides I don’t really like, the sides that broke my heart, made me sad, disgust me. Yeah then so why you..? He protested. The reason why is, because he also made me into a better person, in a way he didn’t even realized. Only a few people in your life that can do that to you.
And it’s not because of the money, the talent, the success. I asked myself will I like him if those shiny things don’t belong to him? Well, the funny thing, I already did. almost 9 year ago when he was this young man who wore ripped jeans, didn’t had any money to eat, who I gave lifts cause he didn’t got any money for public transport, who sat in my porch hour and hour until it’s past midnight, just talking over coffees, lots of coffees, who shared with me his scandalous love stories (yes I think women always his things), who told me all about his family long before I met them (and when I met them, I was like..oh yes, so you’re the sister!), who said that someday he will go to Italy to see the works of Michaelangelo, who shared with me the burden of being a class president, who missed his father and always beamed when he told me how good his father at drawing, who hugged me when in his hardest moment I told him, it’s okay everything is gonna be alright.
We drifted apart after he got a girlfriend and I got a boyfriend.
And when I saw him after that, I just knew that we will have the second kiss. What I didn’t know was, it also came with a broken heart.
Did I regretted it?
I know that someday I will fall out of love with him. He will find another who he told his stories to. After all, it’s just an emotion. No I did not regret it. Things will be okay I know.
So what will you do?
I think and then, nothing. I will do nothing about it. I’m not gonna chasing a pavement for him nor I’m gonna change anything about me, or losing my self-respect. My friend Nuy said, you can feel anything, you can feel sad, madly in love, angry, jealous nobody can control feeling, but what you can control is the way you’re behaving.
But, surely you want him right?
Oh yes I do, but before that, he should realized how lucky he is that someone like me wants him.
Because although I knew him well, I think he don’t know me that well. So mister, learn fast because nothing last forever, only change does.
Meanwhile, let’s get back to work. And just dance if things goes not so well for you said Andrea Petkovic who just defeated Maria Sharapova 
In my college life, I think I was blessed with many good friends. I found my bestfriends, shared my dreams, cried and laughed with them. Some of them stay in my life long after we graduated. Again, I feel blessed. But there’s some funny things about friendship, as I grow older (and hopefully wiser) I learned that we must work for friendship.
Friendship is the most fun relationship someone can ever have with another human being. You started it with common likes and hobbies, no promises or commitment yet you can count on your friends to be there when you need it. You tell your friend secrets not even your mother knew, they keep it and they accept you just the way you are. You have fun and craziness with them. You never grew tired hang around with them, even silence means comfort when you have your bestfriend by your side.
Last year, I learned the meaning of friendship the hard way. I learned that friends are not the one you can only have fun with, they’re also the one who gave you shoulder when you need to hide your tears. Because of my 26 years of living, and spend most of it being social person as someone who tend to said yes and avoid conflicts, I never really had problems with my girl friends, no fights, nothing. But last year, my world was turning upside down. I lost friends, many of them that are close to me, who I consider my bestfriends, people I really care about.
Many things happened, somehow we had a lesson about being a grown up and to deal with problems. Works, friends, relationship, families. I think the moment you realized what is important in your life, you will have the urge to fight for it. And most importantly, have the courage to fix it, say you’re sorry and try to understand – kinda like imagine you’re in their shoes- I know I’ve been selfish, I know my friends have been selfish too, but like family, you just know that you love them and care for them. And at the end, you will have to put your ego aside, because you need them in your life.
Last week, I terribly missed my good friend, who’s away in Australia right now. Thing has been difficult for us, and I know I caused her sadness. And it just doesn’t feel right. Try your best doing a ‘well, I don’t care’ act, believe me, you’ll just put another lie to shield your selfishness. So I emailed her again, tried my best to make her understand. And she replied and I can see she did her best to understand me too. She was this girl I knew but she’s more. She grows up, more mature and I can see that somehow she learned from things life gave to her. I’m so proud of her. Really proud of her. We need more time. But patience is virtue.
Nuri, my good ol’ friend said, that maybe this was a test. How hard will you work for your relationship with your friends, how determined are you to fix things and how to put our ego and being brave. I proved it with Nuy and I dare myself again.I guess the old saying cliche about friends is true, boys come and go but friends stay forever.
I was mad at one of my friend who refused to fix things, because she was scared. Maybe I have to put myself in her shoes to understand her. Or maybe she failed the test. I hope someday she’ll have the courage to do it, but for now I think you will walk with person who matter to you and you know that you matter for them. Small things like wedding ceremonies, funerals, even a text saying good luck in your final exam day, or an email in a busy hectic day to lift up the spirit, or even cupcake you bought just because you know she craves for those thing, all of it need efforts. If you only want your friends for a drink, movies, concerts, gossips -in other way, only the fun part- you can find a lot.
But if you want friends to tell your darkest secrets, defend you even the whole world against you, mad at you because you did something wrong, hold your hand when you almost lost faith in everything, and tell it to your face ‘don’t worry, no matter how bad it will be, I’ll be here for you’ and really means it, the kind of friends you will see in your old days, someone who makes you into a better person and help you to find the best in you, I must say it’s not a lot. You’re lucky if you found one. Extremely lucky if you have some. Those kind of friends are rare because you both already passed a test, some tests probably, on how much a friendship means to each of you.
Nuy, you’re my living proof, I love you.
on Januari, 11th, 2011 Irma’s father, om Beny, passed away. I always remember him as someone extraordinary. Big, full of laugh, loud,drive like there’s no tomorrow and always always protective about his girls (and his daughter’s friends also, he was once mad at me and Irma because we got home too late, and as Irma is my neighbor and I always drove her home, he told me that it’s not save for two girls driving alone in the city and I could tell that he was really worried about us).
When he and Irma got back from Sumatra, I remember that I went to their house and we ate a lot and lot Sumatran dishes. He smacked me hard on the back to get more on my plate. I had a good time and that was the last time I saw him.
He’s a good man, a good father and I really hope for the best for him and his family he left behind.
And as for my dearest friend Irma, I can’t say that I know how you feel because I’ve never been there, but you’re the strong girl who I once was always relied on, I know you will get better and you will be doing just fine. In the mean time, you got us.
this was the view I saw high up on the Light House in Belitung, the view was breathtaking and stood on such height and saw the endless sea, I felt small. But the sunlight was magnificent I thought, this must be peace felt like. I hope Om Beny, and my grandma, my uncle, Hendra’s dad and whoever we lost along the way, now have the peace greater than this.
only fools rush in.
they’re probably right, because nothing compares to this feeling.
but without any hope or agenda
and like an open window to an endless blue
like the wind that brushes every grass and trees
without being perfect and try my best being honest
I’m gonna keep my wasted heart
I’m the runner up inside of you,
and you’re the winner inside of me.
then you said,
“lose your way and I will follow”
I did,
and never before, I understand you better.
Belitung Island, Sumatra 2010-2011
you’re everywhere
This christmas, Hendra annoyed me again by bringing his delusional ex for spending christmas with his family. He didn’t tell me a word about it until they’re in his hometown. Now, that’s the line mister. I’m really sorry but I don’t go along with man who said yes to every women. That’s cheap, even for your standard. Okay, so I make a list for my how to (LOL) and since a girl added me on yahoo messenger said she read my blog and understand my position cause she’s been there, maybe this list will do somebody good.
1. laugh at it
and I mean it. sure, you’re in anger. you want to rip him in pieces and want to scream some nasty words toward him when he called you pretending nothing was wrong (oh yes, my ex came with me for christmas, she said she wants to meet my mom. um, that’s normal right?), and last, cry your hearts out why oh why he did this to youuu. But things happen in your life can be classified into two things : tragedy and comedy. So choose comedy instead. I mean, isn’t that hilarious how pathetic his ex is? or how stupid he sounds when he try to sounds cheerful so that you won’t get mad? It takes time, but believe me, when you chose to see everything from comedy’s point of view, life gets easier.
2. go for a drink
No, I don’t mean get wasted. Get your close girlfriends for a martini and some chocolate rum shake, then let them be mad for you. Sometimes you go through a stage when you’re not sure. Not sure whether you have to be mad at him. Not sure if his act is unforgivable. Now, before you reach your blackberry, talk to your girlfriend. One of my friend, said this to my face ( I think she’s a little bit tipsy) “You know, you look stupid because you always go along with him.” and the other say, “I know you’re different with all of his women. Now, prove it to me.” Okay, surely that burns something inside me. Pride. Yes. Sometime your girlfriend reminds you to hold fast onto it. Don’t lose your pride.
3. Cut him off
I deleted him from my blackberry messenger list. Well, sure he still can call me or text me, but at least not by bbm. And let him know that you cut him off. Do a silence treatment. Some says this is childish, but when you’re in anger and you’re sad you might said something you will regret later. So it’s best to just cut him off, don’t talk to him or see him. Maybe until things cool off. Then you can say calmly why you don’t like things he did to you. When you talk to a man in a controlled temper, they pay more respect, but if you blab and put some drama and tears, they’ll think you’re just “being silly”. Trust me, I tried it and it works.
4. Release your anger (in a very lady like way)
Who can keep calm 24/7? We’re not Mother Therese, we have patience sure, but it has limit too. But don’t put some nasty comments on his facebook wall or her facebook wall. Don’t block her or him from your twitter account, and stop dissing him in front of your friends and being sad and gloomy all the time. Have fun, go out, and laugh at the fact he brings his ex to his hometown (oh yeah, that would be funny if I said yes when his mother invited me for christmas, some family gathering huh?). So how to release it? Write some status on your facebook or twitter is okay, but make sure it has hidden message that only you (and your girlfriends) understand. Then have a little laught together.
5. Accept things
To act cool, you have to have a cool mind too. I know it’s hard, but you have to accept things that are not easy. He lied to you, he’s not good for you, or he’s just not that into you. Accept the fact. Accept that you maybe the loser who lost your man, but at least you’re not some loser who still chase the same man after he disappointed you, let you down, and hurt you. No, you’re better than that girl. Accept things and slowly but sure, you can act cool without even trying!
6. Forgive, but not forget
If he ask for forgiveness, that’ll be cruel not to forgive him (even God forgives). I say forgive him, you have a big heart. But now the question is, do you want to get back with him? That totally depends on each of you, all of us have different problems and different situation. Some relationship worth fighting, some not. But always remember this : never be with a man who doesn’t appreciate you and doesn’t treat you properly. Don’t be afraid of losing, because some goodbye means another hello.
7. Have some pride
I don’t have much to say except to have some pride and you will be respected. It comes both ways. You can’t expect you’ll get a respect if you don’t have some pride. I like this saying, “don’t go chasing men, they’re like trains, when the other goes, the other one will come along.”
Goodluck!
Nuy and our dish
Fachril behind the wheel
I spend my Saturday afternoon with two of them.
First I get my bestfriend all by myself, and for our shopping time, her husband came along.
That’s a good thing when your bestfriend’s husband is also your best friend. I always ask him about men’s perspective on relationship and stuff. (as clueless as us women)
At the end of the day, we go for Maranggi Satay and the three of us talk about how some relationships failed.
I love them.
Tisa and Nuri, Pak Ayat, apron on, ready to get dirty
me, looks like some crazy hammering on un-used biscuits
this what part of the workshop looks like
Bi Yati, strangely talking to Tisa’s ceramic sculpture
Where Tisa and Nuri works, gossip and play city of wonder :p
Tisa’s work for her exhibition on January
Still laughing, that’s because they just start..
Tisa’s work, a mini cute chair. I want one!
from outside the window, Tisa’s beautiful works, can’t wait for her exhibition!
my favorite place, the alley on their workshop.
Kandura, Christmas Day.
that’s him on the sack.
nothing but a useless piece that waiting to be crashed.
so I did.
Again and again.
*that feels gooooooooooooood!!*
at kandura workshop, helping on cleaning and crashing.
are nada.
I had enough of your stupid charade. you can have your own circus show and I’ll be glad to be one of the audience.
you know some things are worth laughed at.
merry christmas
This new year me and my bestfriend will go for a beach, we’re going to Belitung, a beautiful island in Sumatra with gorgeous beach.I can’t wait for next week and off to white sand and blue sky. I think, both of us need this.
This past few days, I’ve been thinking about stuff. Especially about the relationship and him. Like usual, he become distance all of sudden, but not like before, this is the first time I really don’t care anymore. It’s true, I’m still thinking about him but it’s like trying to solve a formula and you just too tired to actually care. His words months before coming back to me and I remembered how inappropriate those words are. It’s true I guess wanting someone who doesn’t seems to want you then want you and not want you again can be very interesting, it’s like chasing a ghost and my gosh, how thrilling is that.
But as I sat alone at this restaurant, no one here but me and my laptop, a company of hot tea and it’s almost late in the night, the rain is drizzling and the radio try their best to play a good sappy song, I feel eased.
Last night I met him at my friend’s exhibition opening, I also met her who keep babbling about serious art stuff, and I happened to know that his mom who’s in town went out with his ex who always be a good escort everytime his family member is in town. When he told me this, I can’t help but let out a laugh.
This is stupid. This is a joke. His love life and all of his women is like a charade in a circus. They look ridiculous and though I’m sure they’re smart and nice and all, they look like a clown. They want more of him, those little pieces he’s giving away and then they want the whole cake.
He asked me why I laughed, I said nothing, but I can see he knows why. Maybe he’ll end up with one of his exes, or one of his many women and they will live happily ever after. I don’t know. But at that moment I was struck how ridiculous all these things are. And I refused to be part of this anymore.
I don’t want to be in those tangled relationship anymore. I guess, what I want it’s the same like what I want before : I want a calm ride on the boat, not a ride in a roller-coaster. I love to enjoy the view rather that have everything blurry because we’re moving too fast. Everybody wants someone, everybody needs to be loved and be a lover, I knew that feeling, I almost see I’m feeling those butterflies and those moment when madness come and then a peaceful feeling when you can rest your head on someone shoulder. I know he wants that too.
But you know there are moments that things just doesn’t work the way we want to. Like an mp3 battery that drained when we still have a long journey to go (and forced to hear the shuttle’s radio), like a long queue to go when we were in the cinema’s ladies room and the movie is just about to start, like a rain that happened to pour just when you decided to left your umbrella at home. Like the feeling of waiting and waiting and then nothing good happened.
Irritated, disappointed, sad.
But at least now I know what I’m looking for and going to do: a long lasting mp3 battery, go to the loo at least fifteen minutes before the movie start, bring an umbrella especially on December, don’t wait but make good thing happened.
on the way home on taxi. my favorite part at every end of days. rain+night+earphone+sit watching traffic outside
some people say, “ignorance is a bliss”, yes true, but it’s sort of temporary bliss. For quiet some time, I did that, I chose not to care and not to know, because I knew that the truth will somehow hurt me. But today I change my point of view of seeing a bliss. I say to myself that I have to be strong even if I knew what lies beneath, I don’t want a bliss that come from an ignorance.
Then it gets better, I breath easier and though my heart beats faster, I know I’ll be okay eventually. People appearance is like a sugar coat, we used that coat once in a while and when you use it too much, you maybe lose the real you. He wears too much she wears too much.. It’s fake and the sad thing is they think it’s pretty and fabulous.
One time, at an LV opening store party, I came along with him. We met beautiful people, polished people, we drink champagne and eat tiny cakes. We have waitress moving around with trays of snacks and there’s one waitress, he had this tiny ice cream on his tray, then by accident, he dropped one ice cream on the perfectly polished LV floor. His supervisor snapped at him and he rushed to clean the floor. That was happened only in minutes. But at that time, I hate myself. Sitting on a stool with champagne in one hand and tiny cheese cake on the other. I don’t want to be this girl and to be frankly, none of those things amused me. Not the glitz on the store walls, not the celebrities, not the champagnes, not the beautiful bags and the glasses. Not by him (who happened to be one of 15 guest models for the new sunglass collection) and not by her (who also happened to be one of the guest models).
the truth just make it even clearer and I’m pretty sure this one will make me stronger.
I promise myself to never lose who I really am. to be good and to be true.
Saying is easier than done, I stumble once in a while too. I lied and I used some sugarcoat.
But if I can turn back time, I will jump off my stool and help the poor waitress cleaning the floor instead just sitting there as if nothing worth seen happened. Then at the moment I feel uncomfortable I will immediately say to him goodbye and hop to a taxi, and find some good friend who’ll say yes to a simple cup of coffee.
I guess we must to learn these things.
I’m thinking….
1. to apply for a online short course for creative writing. It took about 12 weeks and start in February. After this course (it’s a level 1), I can enroll for the level 2 program.
2. my new blog, well it’s a blog for my bit and pieces in writing.. mostly some poems.. you can check it out.. (http://chitacrosswords.blogspot.com/)
3. how to get better in teaching, english and writing..
4. how to get time for designing new notebook (yeah, I kinda miss my old project)
5. how am I be able to wake up in five hours from now…
6. Bob Dylan’s Mr. Tambourine Man lyrics. google it, it’s amazingly beautiful..
7. What to wear tomorrow, I just got a dark red legging and confused how to .. oh well, let’s just go to sleep.
last saturday I met my long lost buddy, Vina (yep, the girl with the mouth wide open for no reason). She still this pretty little thing that seems unaware that she is indeed, beautiful. I always love how corny and stupid she was (and still is).
We’re eating at Tizi with Tisa, Nuri and Chacha. Nice Saturday night.
I just watched this. Hendra insisted on watching this one but I never really like this chronicles before, but since we watch almost all the movies available there (except “The Changi Ghost” which I doubt will beat Narnia) so we pick this. Turns out, I love it! The special effect was amazing (though we didn’t watch it in 3d due to his headache) the storyline was good and I love Eustace, Edmund and Susan’s cousin who at the first part of the movie kinda remind me of Harry Potter’s uncle with his constant complaints and his attitude toward all magical things, but he’s the narrative of this movie and become some kind of scene stealer. FYI, as far as I remember, I didn’t watch the Prince Caspian but it didn’t really matter. Nice one.
did I say I just love my new job? oh yes I did, but what makes some job fun is the co-workers. I have the nicest and funniest people here, I can’t believe I’m actually enjoying office life. Here’s my fellow teacher, Ophel, she just dyed her hair bright red. It’s sooooooooo coool, we call her hair fruity-like, I really want to do some daring color dye to my hair too! maybe for a highlight, let’s see.. apple green?
and this one is a beautiful shell from Dan, a fellow teacher from Aussie. He’s so nice that when I blurt to bring me some ‘oleh-oleh’ from his beach trip this holiday weekend, he bought me this shell. Put it next to your ear, and you can hear the sound of the ocean. I never had a shell this big before, so I look and look at this thing in awe. nice isn’t he?
yesterday, before meeting my friends, I visited my grandpa. He was this old funny man who love love love to talk about his old days. Yesterday he told me when he was in a war, he was 19 years old. I sit next to him in the big couch and he was talking and talking for about almost two hours. One of his story is when his friend died in his arm, and on his last breath he was saying my grandpa name. He was only 19 and he saw death took his bestfriend’s life.
when I realized this, I must say we’re lucky that we’re able to enjoy our days without death hanging over our head. Yet, we took that for granted. I said this to Nuy while we were having breakfast, you know those social network things is silly, why must it matters so much why we follow and unfollow certain people? and why must we unfollow or block some of our friends just because we dislike things that they do in real life? I personally think it’s okay to block or unfollow someone, but just don’t take it seriously.
then, we remember things that happen between us and our circle of friends, distrust and betrayal mainly about boys. One of my friend being told by her boyfriend to “just stop being friends with them and find new friends”.
I just thought, that’s a cruel things to say.
come on, between friends, misunderstanding happened, we did bad stuff to each other, we broke each other’s heart, we talk mean things behind our friends back but is it right to “stop being friends”?
I’m not being a drama here, but really, we ‘re lucky to be alive and sometimes we must appreciate things, like our friends.
Just thanked God they’re still here and just remember you’ll be sorry when you decided to “stop being friends” and then they’re not here anymore.
Yesterday I went to Jakarta, attending a new store opening at Plaza Indonesia. But what I really looking for is to meet my bestfriend, Nurul. We ate at Kitchenette, hungry, I ordered one big burger and fries. It was great, having her to hear my rubbish talk was nice. She’s the only one who can get me. Do you ever have a bestfriend who can be mad at you but at the same time take care of you? if you do, you’re lucky. I’m lucky to have her. Specially at moment like this. There we are, sitting with lemon tea and green tea latte in front of us, talking about things and a little bit bewildered that future has so many surprises for us. we kinda swirl out of control and it’s scary as hell. as I sip my green milky liquid I said to her, ‘but at least I have you’.
oh yes, and I met Fahril and Edo as well. Edo as I know that you read my blog religiously, I hate to admit this but I’m kinda miss you and your evil comment on anything moving. :p you’re a jerk, but we’re all a jerk once in a while right?
monday was sun-less since morning. I wore my boots with black legging and my capelet. here’s hanging with Udin, who wore gorgeous red doc-mar boots.
This monday is great, I just had one class, which is my favorite class then after work, me and surprise,surprise, Hendra, watched Rapunzel. I was excited because the review for this movie is great and Udin said this one was good, coming from a guy who smokes a lot and riding vespa and wear boots I knew I had to watch this. So like Hendra was saying, ‘don’t ever make plan for anything, it lessen the fun’, we didn’t plan for this either. It has to be luck that we still got the tickets and a nice seat since the cinema was almost full.
The movie was funny! It’s different from the original Rapunzel, but it has great storyline and must I say more? I looooove Disney’s moviess! This one is my favorite scene! Flynn and Rapunzel riding on a boat to watch the flying lanterns. It was soooo beautiful and um, weird to say this, also magical.
Ironically, just like the movie tittle, I found myself tangled in this stupid relationshit. Just as we get closer each time, we need time apart also to breath. We always drive each other crazy and sometime I did not find him amusing at all. Just plain annoying. *sigh*
without any plan, me and Hendra watched this movie. It was rainy Friday night and I was soo fed up with works after 3 classes. So it was nice to have a movie night, and the movie we watched is about earth 6 years after alien came to earth. Human learn to adapt with it. The setting took place in Mexico and it really have a great cinematography and story.
anyway, in Saturday I met him again, he seemed to be in a good mood and when I made comment about this (I’m glad he’s in a good mood, but somehow it’s annoyed me), he said joking, ‘don’t make this saturday gloomy like last saturday’ .
as if it was my fault he was being an asshole last saturday. last saturday I was so effing mad at him for being a jerk, we were watching movie and he kept silence all night. At that time I really want to kick him in the crotch, well he apologized later, but how come he blamed it on me that he was in a bad mood?
I said to him when we were watching Social Network on DVD, “you know what, Mark reminds me of you. In fact he just like you, you just do what you pleased and don’t care about other people too much.”
at this point, he just laughed.
Btw, Social Network is really a must watch movie!! It’s good , good , great!
and just like proving my point, he selfishly stopped my Last Exorcism movie to watch Paranormal Activity 2. He just didn’t have the guts to watch this silly movie all alone. Anyway it has lots of surprising effect but feel too made up. But it’s not bad for a Saturday night movie.
okay, let’s go to bed (this movie scene gets to my head and feel a lil bit paranoid). To sum it up, nice weekend.
Sunday.
I spend most of my Sunday sleeping. It feels soooo nice. The rain is pouring and I was just chilling at my bed with lulu, after that I drove to town with my sister Sasa, picking up my late magazines from the magazine guy at Cikapundung (he sells imported magazines with reasonable prices and Sunday is the only time I can drive there and pick them up) then, we have ramen and matcha latte at Kedai Ling Ling.
It took toooo long for the ramen and by the time it served we’re not hungry anymore, but because we know the owner (who is very nice) we ate those spicy thick ramen soup with half -hearted (and drove home nauseated) LOL.
Anyway, nice sunday it is.
new hair.
I cut and permed (again) my hair. result = it becomes messy curly and I look like just got out of bed without my headband on. but I like it. anyway, I always love doing things with my look. My friend Nuy collects photo of me since highschool and we laughed at my past looks! I can’t count how many times I change my hairdo. Long and straight, long and wavy, short and straight, medium and curly, medium and wavy, bangs, brown, red.
Not only hair, I do stupid and crazy things too with clothes. My mom always complaint about how I mixed my clothes, but Nuy said this when she bought a top she liked (but not so sure it would looks good on her), “I remember you and I just bought it, I don’t care what other’ll think”.
True, I never really care what others will think, let alone hear their negative comments. Oh yes, I got that all the time. Believe me. But at some point, I just don’t care too much. So what? It just clothes. Most importantly, it’s mine. I can do whatever I want with it.
Speak of fashion, I just got a present, a super cool Mango capelet from Hendra. I’ve been eyeing this for months so it’s just great. It really helps since now it’s Bandung in rainy season and I’m using angkot and ojeg most of the time. Last saturday after work, I’m strolling down Dago street with my new capelet, it’s drizzled and wet everywhere. I love this kind of afternoon.
And gift. My mom said never received gifts from men, because it bad for a girl’s pride. I couldn’t agree more. It is true that girls like gift, and they like expensive gifts from men. But some men used this to get some control of the girls (and sad but true, but some girls can be controlled by things). So I have rule : never received gifts that you can’t afford by yourself. I can buy this capelet by myself, but I let him bought it from me. Just because it’s nice to receive things and to give things. It shows that we are two human being that needed appreciation and a feel-good feeling of giving gifts.
Now
… I need ideas for christmas gift..
1. that even I got 3 jobs I still need more money. I received my pay and then in the count of days I had to spend it for bills, bills, bills. I also get so easily distracted when I went to a mall. I guess my faith isn’t that strong when I pass cosmetic counters ( a green eyeliner oh-so-cool ), home appliances ( a cute yellow steam iron for my newly married friend, a burgundy towel for me), mango ( very dark blue high waist trousers ) and Zara (a leather string headband), Optic (contacts and drops), bookstore (new comic books, some magazines..). Why can’t I save more??
2. that when you say ‘yes’ to certain questions and ‘no’ to certain requests, you’ll find yourself out of your comfort zone into more comforter zone. I kinda disagree when people say things like, ‘you have to get out of your comfort zone’ made it sounds uncomfortable and of course lots of people will reluctant to do that. Who’s in their right mind want to get out from a cozy blanket to a chilly windy street to get.. what? experience? better self? I don’t do that, instead I just said yes to things I think I will like to do it. And then, I’m a zone – movers. I think you don’t have to push yourself doing something you don’t like just to be a better you, that’ll makes you a .. not so nice person?
3. how you’ll change your mind, you might hate what you think you’ll like, and vice versa. Years ago, I hate teaching. I always said I can’t teach and I don’t like kids. Look where I’m right now : cutting body parts flash cards for my children’s class game.
4. that when you work hard, and I mean hard enough until you catch fever and flu and sore throat, you will spend less time thinking about how hard life’s been to you. You will care less about boys, about your heartbreaks, about some friends who now turns to hate you or unfollow you on twitter. Your time and energy will be focused to more important stuff (do a lesson plan, wake up really early so I can teach cad to Om Taufik in the morning, don’t forget to download the hokey pokey song). It’s rather hard to stay mad or sad when you’re too tired to change clothes once you get home.
I watched Inaff (Indonesia International Fantastic Film Festival) every year, and every year, I usually watched this movie fest with my friends Amet, Anggi and Nuy. But this year I spent it only with Amet, which is great because it’s been a loooooooong time since the last time we hang out together. Sadly though we only get the chance to go only on its last day, on last Sunday. (I did go with Hendra for The Girl Who Played With Fire on Saturday, but I just don’t get the festival spirit from him so that didn’t count)
I had so much fun on Sunday anyway, after a long chat over lunch, me and Amet watched :
1. The Girl Who Leap Through Time : A Japanese sci-fi drama based on a manga. About a 17 years old girl, Akari, whose mother is a scientist and found a liquid that can take you back to the past. After her mother got into a car accident, she asked Akari to go to the year 1972 and give a message to a boy, Fukumachi. But by mistake, Akari jumps into the year 1974. Realized she made a mistake, she must find this Fukumachi on the year 1974 and give him her mother message. She got help from Ryota a young amateur movie director.
2. Detour : A Norway (or Swedish?) movie about couple who have a road trip and become a target of some psycho who likes to abduct people in the dungeon and tortured them. A classic one and a little bit boring.
3. My-Ex 2 : A Thailand movie about a girl, Cee, whose boyfriend is cheating on her. Then, when her boyfriend’s love affair jumped from top of his apartment building, weird things happen to Cee and people around her. Too much twist but nice make-ups and effects. At the last movie, Tito and Mi-ink joined us, and I got a free ride home.
This is the first part, and all I can say this movie is great. Please watch it.
I watched it together with Hendra too, and we’re kinda glued to the screen from the very beginning till the end. It’s not really suitable for children though, there’s a lot of violence and dead bodies. Which I thought is great, because the movie grows up, just like all the characters and the viewers. It’s like it says to take things seriously, sure is about wizard and fantasies, but it’s also about death and life.
And I must say, although this movie is about unreal world, it still more real than Sex and The City 2.
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